Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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