Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
