we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
sex in a hospital.. check
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
