went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
