this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
