i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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