So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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