i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
