She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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