When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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