Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
