Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
