did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
