I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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