Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
