I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
