false alarm. still invincible.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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