these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
