12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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