the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
