i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
