alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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