I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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