I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
