Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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