are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
