Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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