how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
