don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
