cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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