I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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