Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
