Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
