well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
