my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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