i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
