My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is Oprah even human
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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