hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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