let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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