so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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