Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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