the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
