Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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