Rock
Scissors
Fuck
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
