I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
