We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
