So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
