I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
