yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
