I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
